heartbreakMerriam-Webster’s Dictionary describes heartbreak as crushing grief, anguish, or distress.

I don’t know about you but I’ve experienced my share of anguish and distress.

What about crushing grief?

If you’re lucky, you’ve never been subjected to the kind of pain that steals every breath and wicks away every ounce of strength.

Sadly, our family experienced that kind of heartbreak. The thing about crushing grief? Even when you think you’ve taken the steps to move on, an object, a smell, or an uncalled memory can send you back into the fetal position.

Our family suffered a failed adoption last year. For five months, we wrapped our hearts and lives around two children that we believed would be a part of our family forever. For one month we wrapped our home and arms around them. We prayed without ceasing and followed God’s plan. Turns out, God’s plan was painful.


Even after six months, my family is still reeling from our loss. We will never know what happens to the two children we love. All we can hope is that our loss was necessary to provide amazing futures. Futures that God planned before we ever knew them.

We can’t go back to the way we were before. My children will never be innocent of that kind of pain again.

Thankfully our God is Jehovah-Rophe, healer of the broken, and Jehovah-Shalom, provider of peace.

We cannot go back,  but if we trust in Him we acknowledge that He already laid out a path for healing. We only need to get back up and follow.