The decision to purchase a conversion van eventually led to a series of events not unlike the Children’s book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. A story that chronicles how one tiny choice can give way to a litany of situations that make you question why you ever thought feeding a rodent was a good idea.
So here is our version of If You Buy a Mystery Machine:
One day you decide you have had enough of the complaints emanating from the back seat about the lack of leg room so you search the Internet for conversion van deals. The best deal comes from a dealership the next state over so you to buy one-way plane tickets. You can’t afford to buy the plane tickets for you children so you have to find someone to watch them.
After finding someone to watch your kids, you board the plane, fly a short jaunt, land and then realize you have no car to drive to the dealership. So you have to rent a car. Then you are able to drive to the dealership and purchase your new vehicle, but then you have to return the rental before driving 9 1/2 hours back home.
When you finally make it home, it begins to storm and you find that the van does not fit in the garage and that you must build a carport to protect the new addition. So your engineer-husband decides that he can design a much stronger car dwelling than anything available and that results in dragging small telephone polls across the county on the back of your trailer. Unfortunately, small telephone polls are super heavy, so a day of strenuous activity akin to an Amish barn raising must take place.
Once woodhenge is erected, the cross-braces must be installed. This requires rope pulleys to hoist the beams overhead while one person (yours truly) stands underneath as the anchor while wearing a child’s baseball helmet. By the way, the helmet will not prevent brain damage if the person holding the drill above (the husband) manages to drop the massive 2 x 6 beam onto the anchor’s head.
Only one close-call later, the bones of the structure are complete and you must install the roof that will protect the out-of-state van from the elements. But roofs involve heights, of which the inventor of the structure is afraid, so reinforcements must be called. One weekend later, two guys lured by the promise of homemade barbecue complete the roof and you can now park your whim under a structure that could easily survive another world-wide flood.
|Thanks Jeff and Roger!|
|Those boys had better appreciate that leg room…|